Try as I might to make it otherwise, some relationships in my life are not meant to be.  

The fallout between me and some so-called ambitions have taken years, years, to accept.

I say so-called, because on a theoretical level if certain relationships or ambitions were “meant to be,” they would be.  

There doesn’t feel like a conversation between me and self, or between me and another person. It feels like a resolve to make something happen.  When I accept the inevitable, I realize there’s been debate between me and God. You would be right to smile. For there is no debate, is there?

In hindsight I see the debate was done before it begun.

One of the Emily Dickinson poems that deals with me also hints at the experience I can glean.

Said Death to Passion

“Give of thine an Acre unto me”.

Said Passion, through contracting Breaths

“A Thousand Times Thee Nay”.

 

Bore Death from Passion

All His East

He — Sovreign as the Sun

Re-situated in the West

And the Debate was done

I don’t believe the debate between passion (with its pumping adrenalin of “contracting Breaths”)  and death, or, between a lively relationship and one that is nonexistent, means such a dialogue takes place. But, it captures the need I may feel for an ill-fated ambition to be realized, or, for a desired relationship to continue.

It is my inflexibility that insists, commands, “‘Give of thine an Acre unto me’.” 

The answer, to my everlasting frustration, is “ ‘A Thousand Times Thee Nay’.”

All is not lost when I can accept a reality that is “Sovreign as the Sun” at dawn and “All His East”.  

If not, I will become surly, spiteful, even nasty toward anyone who stands in my way. This is because there is no passion, no “sun,” in rebellion. I don’t have to know the outcome. I only have to be mindful of my experience. Then, at the “end of the day” passion will become “Re-situated in the West”.

 

Digest A Poem A Day — Accept What Comes Your Way

Advertisements